Best, you’ve got to be the best.
i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE
bras are so expensive like i didn’t choose the boob life the boob life chose me
Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.– John Lennon (via ponceau)
(Source: annorz)Via Took my feet to Oxford street
SO THIS GUY IN MY ENGLISH IS DOING A PROJECT FOR BIO WHERE HE GETS A DUCKLING TO IMPRINT ON HIM SO HE JUST CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HIM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES AND I SWEAR THIS DUCK IS THE MOST WELL BEHAVED FUCKING POULTRY IVE EVER SEEN IT JUST SITS ON HIS DESK QUIETLY AND SOMETIMES HE PUTS IT IN HIS POCKET AND IT JUST SLEEPS LIKE WOW YOU GO DUCKY
we could be married with like 4 kids and i’d still be too scared to text you first
i might not be good at maths but i can read gay sex with a serious face